I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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