the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
