remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
