I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
