Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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