dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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