No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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