You can't special order awesome
she looked like the before picture.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
