haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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