He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
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You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
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You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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