had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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