they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
