youre lurking in front of me
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
