There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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