She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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