if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Congratulations! We have a period
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
