Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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