Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
