belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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