I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
