FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
