Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
