Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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