Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize