: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just pee around me
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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