I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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