My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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