Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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