I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
