i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
