thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
