i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
