I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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