I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
