I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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