Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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