Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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