Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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