she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
