Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
