after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
