Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
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Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
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The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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