So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
