I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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