What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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