i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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