The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
