didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
