Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
