we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
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he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
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I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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