Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize