this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
