I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
