this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
