Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
