Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Let's paint friendship bongs
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Couch. On fire.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
