sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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