Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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