I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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